Anxious Mama

I’m discovering that I hate media. Seriously can I just parouse Facebook without reading about how so and so went on a family vacation and their 3 year old drowned while they were eating a brownie? Or can I watch the news without hearing about how Sharon at the ABC daycare left a baby on a boppy pillow only to return to find the baby wasn’t breathing? Fear. Paralyzing. Agonizing Fear. It’s something that I’ve been battling since my precious firstborn stopped breathing at 4 days old.

I never remember feeling as much fear as I have in the last few years. Maybe it’s something that just happens when you become a parent or you get older. I mean your heart is basically outside of your body when you have a child. If you have kids I’m sure you can agree that tiny humans are like the most helpless, dependent, little species, and every bone in your mama body tells you to protect, protect, protect this little being.

Or maybe it’s the media? We were at the beach this summer and we met up with some family we had not seen in a long time. So many of our conversations revolved around being scared of being bitten by a shark or drowning. I don’t know about you, but I never remember being scared of that as a child, nor do I remember the adults sitting around and talking about things such as these. Is the media influencing how we perceive the world around us?

Nevertheless, I’m dealing with anxiety as I’m pregnant again with my third little slice of my heart. Although I don’t know the root cause of what I’m facing I know that at times its debilitating. I’m waking several times a night due to horrible dreams involving my children. Or I’m imagining up these horrific situations while I’m doing normal day to day things like grocery shopping. Maybe it’s the hormones or maybe it’s the stress of it all. One thing I know for sure is that in my quiet time with the Lord He has spoken over my fears. He has also reminded me through wise counsel from friends that it is my job to protect my mind, to renew it with His truth. He reminds me that the enemy tries to paralyze us with fear, but that He gives us peace and a sound mind.

So I’m mostly just writing this to remind myself, but also to speak encouragement and truth into you anxious mama. 2 Timothy 1:7 says “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND.” Anything else that creeps into our mind other than this TRUTH is a lie from the devil. Cast it down. 1 John 4:8 There is no fear in love, but perfect LOVE casts out fear. And my friends, God is perfect love.



2 thoughts on “Anxious Mama”

  1. Hey girl! I totally can relate to This! Just the other night I was so restless, trying to sleep. I kept having thoughts of Dalton drowning…and always think the worst in every situation! It is almost like an instant panic attack, And I find myself reacting in ways that kinda scares Dalton. Thank you so much for sharing! Alot of times we feel alone as mommies but I’m glad I’m not alone on this.

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